Holy Jesus-Pesus! I haven't been on here in ages, nor have I posted antyhing, but hey whatevs, I'm doing my own things, and my own things is doing essays right now.

so anyway, that last journal entry was from last year, when I first caem to college and was happy and naive and unjaded and unaware that my earliest class at 10 was a luxury I would never reclaim...

but here's one word, just one word of wisdom for all those who never cared: Plastics.

and also, there's always money in the banana stand.

fun fact: college suck, rocks and is mediocre, all at the same time. depends on the day.

I miss my friends and home, but I'm not all that homesick. i just wish they'd come and rock it down in PA with me.
you know you want to...

here's good advice i once heard: you can spend your whole colege career just making it, and studying so hard all the time, or you can say fuck it and try everything, take advantage, and have a real college experiance.... but also pass so you stay in college.
i hope i can do that.

have fun, lots of love.

time for a change, I mean it only seems nature, right? it's spring/summer, lovely weather.

good news, I'm going to Gettysburg, and it should be funner than a puppy with a pendulum made of sausage. (:

I feel ridiculously without control of my life. I feel as though I'm being cornered into going to a college I have absolutely no desire to go to. I was accepted to Albany, and invited to join the honors college. my parents had me write the application essay today, which they like and say will get me in. I got a scholarship for half my tuition there, making it actually affordable for them, and so I wouldn’t come out of it all with loans. my dad's boss' daughter is at the honors college with a 4.0 and I hear her name every time it's mentioned, so at least once a day. I got accepted to my safety today, with another scholarship, but because it’s an out of state, it still cost about 10,000 more. And I’d rather go there 10,000 times over Albany.
My god, I sound so selfish, but if only all of my parent’s hopes for my college is riding on a school that is well respect, has already accepted me, and of nominal cost. Jesus why did I apply there? It was only for the financial aid incentive to other colleges, but now, despite how many times I’ve told them I will never go there, they keep telling me I should (note: am).
We’re apparently taking a trip there over break to have a tour and meet the boss’ daughter. They tell me I have to go with an open mind, but how can such a selfish and hell-bent being like myself do that?
I wish I was more grateful, by god I wish I was, but with every fiber of my body I can’t give up a dream I’ve had since I was in third grade.
God, why am I saying this where anyone in the world could read it.

alright, so I'm just gonna warn you that I have nothing to say, and nothing new to report from the front lines. I'm just sick of that previous entry, which is the point at which I change most my journal entries, rather then (once gain) having anything to write.
I love wasting your time.

no, not really. I'm sorry.

Halloween is coming up. I'm reading my Halloween book, and at some point I will watch my Halloween movies. always 2 classic monster movies: Dracula, because it's my favorite, and I think this year will be Frankenstein. I'll probably throw in Night of the Living Dead somewhere too.
I do love that holiday.
and bread. bread it good too.